"I'd like to make myself believe..."

I take that line from Owl City's song, "Fireflies".

It's a great song, I think, and I love how Adam Young composed this music, it's enjoyable.

However, many guys said that Fireflies is the gayest song they ever heard. (found that in yahooanswers.com)

But IMAO, it's a beautiful song. Way to go, Adam! :)

Anyways, there was so many things that I didn't believe.

Whether it's the truth or not, it's just.. not those kind of things that you can easily believe in.

Like, when my mom told me I'm beautiful,

I thought, 'Yea, yea. It's just because she is my mom so she said that. Other people won't say things like that about me. I'm not pretty.'

And, ta-daa, it molds my mind to feel and to be so.

For the last 9 years, I give myself no treatment. I had never taken care of my body.

Like, pimples? Just squeeze it. Facial wash? Don't bother, I use body soap. Yummy foods around? Never thought of those DIET things. Just eat, taste, and fill your stomach. Don't care about that rolls of fat in my belly. (NOW I know those things sound so terrible!)

It's just that I didn't care about myself as a woman. I believed I am NOT pretty. So I was being so.

About a year ago, my best friend Wvang came and changed everything. Just so you know, she's a beautiful journalist and magazine chief.

She said to me, 'You're pretty as a girl, Jane, but look at you. You should take care of your body. It's your own body.'

And I replied, 'Well, I'm not doing that because I'm in process of finding someone who loves me just as I am, the plain Jane.'

'Yes it's true that you should look for someone who loves you just the way you are. But if you had taken care of yourself more better, wouldn't "that" someone be interested in you? If you're not loving yourself, why anyone else even would?'

She opened my eyes since then. (Thank you, sis!)

And now, here I am, still the same Jane. Oops, I mean, the loving-her-body-and-giving-it-a-pamper- same Jane.

I had tried make myself believe that I'm pretty.

And still, I'd like to make myself believe... that I'm.

So, what would you like to make yourself believe in? ;)